The Meeting Before the Meeting

Every big decision I have ever seen made in a boardroom actually started somewhere else: in a hallway, a coffee break, a quiet side conversation. These moments, the ones that happen before the official meeting, are where real alignment begins.

Executives call it pre-alignment. Some call it coalition-building. Whatever the term, it is the unspoken but powerful act of making sure the right people are on the same page before the meeting even begins. And the leaders who do this well are the ones who get things done, not because they are political, but because they understand that human nature plays out behind closed doors.

I learned this lesson the hard way. Early in my career, I walked into a board meeting with what I thought was a rock-solid strategy. But the meeting fell flat. Eyes glazed over, questions came from every angle, and what I assumed would be a simple green light turned into an hour of objections and pushback.

What I didn’t realize was that three key stakeholders had already met earlier that morning, without me. They had discussed my proposal, questioned it, and walked into the room with a united front against it.

That was the day I learned that decisions are often made before the meeting begins. The real work isn’t just in the presentation, it’s in the conversations that set the stage for that presentation.

The best leaders don’t just prepare for the meeting. They prepare the room. They have the quiet conversations. They ask for feedback before the group is assembled. They align with key players ahead of time, not to manipulate but to ensure that when the meeting begins, people are leaning in, not pulling away.

Meetings are not just about what is said. They are about what was left unsaid beforehand.

The next time you are preparing for a big decision, don’t just rehearse the pitch. Think about the people in the room, the private conversations, the power dynamics. Because if you’re not aligning before the meeting, you’re already behind.